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Monthly Archives: November 2017

Dael’s Adventure Part 13

Start from the beginning

In the central hallway a giant water form emerged. Hubert explained that it was a water elemental but didn’t have any great advice on how to deal with it. So Vyrez tried stabbing it (splish) and I tried punching it (splash) to no effect. Then we noticed a small whirlpool in each of the six rooms. The first whirlpool investigated had some sort of terrifying dream nightmare beast full of blades and pain. Hubert later said dispatching them was as simple as hitting them in the “no-no” place, and that he’d dispatched one easily, but none of us saw it. Further it became apparent that some of the whirlpools contained icy monsters that were practically indestructible. Finally there was occasionally a third type of water monster, a smaller elemental I guess? This was easily dispatched and each time we did so all of the other whirlpools (and the monsters within) would dissipate and then reform. Better still, doing this seemed to hurt the big watery monster in the center of the room. I won’t bore you with the precise details, suffice to say Honch and Vyrez were both on deaths door, and if it had taken us but a minute more Vyrez would probably have bleed to death from the wounds inflicted on him by the Stabby whirlpool monsters. Fortunately I was able to move through the water fairly quickly with a slightly modification to the Sake Stumble Home technique and get to the last of the vulnerable monsters after which the water began to recede and the monsters disappeared. Then Solei, Hubert and Mortia were able to stabilize Vyrez at the very last moment.

After a brief rest we climbed the stairs and were able to make it not only to the third floor, but eventually to the roof. Honch suggested an area of the ward that had practically no lights as the likely “home” of Doldrums, and using another ladder that Hubert produced from his wonderous cloak we were easily able to travel from roof to roof and arrive at what turned out to be the Post Office. Solei let us in as it was closed for the night. After searching the building to no avail we ended up congregated in the break room trying to decide where to go next. I examined the “coffee” which was so old it had practically turned into tar, and Honch worked some sort of cooking magic on it, turning into not just palatable, but exquisite espresso with decorative foam on top. Just then the center of the break room opened up into a yawning abyss, a whirlpool of form and darkness that was hard to look upon. We fastened Solei’s grapnel hook to a wall and descended as there seemed little other option in this dream scape. It turned out to be the appropriate choice, as the whirlpool, after a brief disorienting journey deposited us in a great plaza in what may well have been the center of the Red Light District. Moments later a great stepped  Ziggurat raised out of the ground, as if multiple separate dreams where colliding. From the top burst Doldrums who proceeded to whinge that Darkness was so angry, and only she’d be able to keep her happy or something along those lines.

March ’70

Our magnificent Cathedral is finally finished. It’s my understanding that the Ruskies hold the record for most vodka drunk, however embarrassingly enough their record is higher than our record for most rum drunk. I’m hoping that building this Cathedral right on the other side of the distillery will allow us to surpass their considerable achievement.

January ’71

Pollution is starting to be a major problem, however the construction of three strategically located garbage dumps should help curb the destruction.

January ’72

Another election is coming up, and I am of course still monstrously popular with the people. I’ll give a speech, because everyone loves speeches.

April ’72

The Zoo is finally finished, and with it we are one step closer to achieving the world record for having most exciting animal? I’m not sure, I’m not really an animal person so I kind of just smiled and nodded and signed all the relevant paperwork on this one. They tell me though we’ve had ample coverage and the bank account reflects it. Also, apparently there’s a record for having the most records! Achieving that would surely garner some publicity allowing me to further pad my Swiss account.

January ’73

Construction of our first Army Base is complete, and the Armory is nearly done. With all the attention we are getting on the national scene due to our record number of records achieved in record time it’s a miracle we haven’t been attacked yet. If there was a record for longest time without being attacked (or without a military force) we’d probably have it, but there’s not so instead Penultimo has a scheme to hire some mercenaries to stage an attack and get us a record that way… However I know Penultimo, and there is any chance it’ll end up being a real attack, so I’m going to make sure we have a proper military before beginning the attack.

Meet The Cultist is a weekly feature focusing on some of the least regarded members of a Warhammer 40k Chaos Army, the cultists. In the game they are cannon fodder or a distraction at best, yet I find examining the sonder of their lives interesting. While chronology isn’t particularly important, you can start at the beginning if you care about reading them in order.

Taloneus joined the cult while barely a teenager. He likes watching the world burn, cats, watching the sun rise, especially when the smoke from a burning world tints the clouds those amazing reds and purples. Rumor has it that Taloneus eats the cats that he collects, as he never seems to have more than two or three at a time, but in actuality he trains them, cybernetically augments them, and then releases them into new environments. Of course the rest of the cult never sees this as they rarely visit worlds they’ve ravaged in raids, but even if they do who is going to notice a slightly increased feral cat population.

Taloneus is most adept with the physiology of animals, but is a practiced hand with humans as well, and is the closest things the cultists have to an Apothecary, though what cyber-limbs Taloneus has installed have really only taken with extensive blessings from Slaanesh, it’s pretty obvious w/out divine (as far as the cultists are concerned) intervention most of his modifications wouldn’t have taken. That said not all of his “improvements” have been successful; his ministrations are usually sought as a last ditch effort as several recipients have died or rejected the implants. He claims they were weak of faith, andthis is widely accepted to be the case.

There was even one time when another cultist’s devotion was called into question and as a means of  testing his faith they cut off Rhygore’s left arm, and had Taloneous replace it with a mechanical tentacle. Fortunately for Rhygore Slaanesh smiled on him, after distinguishing himself in the next raid the arm grew a fleshy covering, giving super human strength, and setting to rest any possibility of lack of faith on his part.

Dael’s Adventure Part 12

Start from the beginning

Upon “defeating” Desire we returned to the Drawing Room, where Honch was indeed encaged.  However Desire’s henchmen were ready and waiting for us. A square room, with one end raised higher (where Honch’s cage was) with a smaller rectangle in the middle of the room full of pillows. So many pillows in fact that moving threw it was a bit difficult. Arrayed at the back of the room were two Dread Reapers, a Hexer and a Shadowcaster.

I threw a couple of feints at one of the Reapers and then proceeded to Honch’s cage but, being unable to pick the lock while wildly swinging on the cage I abandoned him and returned to the fight. After a couple of attempts things were looking pretty dire, so I abandoned him and returned to the fight. The Shadowcaster apparently had some sort of Aura that made it hard to see or connect with her minions, and Vyrez was knocked out of the fight , and then Hubert shortly after also succumbed. Finally it was down to just the Shadowcaster left, and upon realizing that Solei and I pretty much had the combat in hand she fled through some magical means. Her retreat may have also been precipitated by Honch’s escape from his cage, which he finally managed via main force.

Mortia was able to revive Hubert who was able to revive Vyrez. We then scarped off to the Baker Guildleader’s house where we’d previously set up as temporary home base. Cilla was able to do a little for Vyrez’s weakened state, but some of the effect of Dread’s curse on him were too strong to completely remove apparently.

It was decided we’d stop in the Adventurer’s district to see if we couldn’t find some sort of magic item to finish curing Vyrez, but the entire district had been transmogrified by the dream into essential the biggest tavern ever. I succumbed to temptation and join in the revelries whilst the others looked for something that might help. Eventually they gave up, and I finished up the song I was singing as payment for the fine spirits I’d been drinking and then lead the party out of the tavern, and we proceeded on towards the Red Light district where the penultimate diviner was likely located.

Knowning this was likely Doldrums’s domain it was little surprise that the area was rather boring, what was interesting was that as we proceeded the area got more boring… less shops, less differences in the streets. We eventually entered a tenement building that was particularly boring, and entirely empty. As we proceeded the second floor was basically identical to the first. The third floor was literally identical to the second, the rooms number 2A, 2B, etc … after a bit more going up, and then going back down we discovered we were trapped on the second floor. After many false starts and much experimentation we eventually broke through the walls and smashed open one of the pipes therein. From this pipe flooded water which slowly filled the floor, gushing down the stairs, but fortunately not pouring down from the floor “above” us… as the water reached waist high, forms grew out of the water and battle was joined.

October ’65

The plant a flag on Mars program is going very slow. Who knew nuclear science was so hard. I mean… that’s what we hired the scientists for right?

January ’65

With the election coming up I feel that it’s important to give a speech. I mean, I have never lost an election because I am such a great leader, but not everyone knows this so it is best to make clear what the future has in store. And this year I plan to build a Cathedral, improve relations with Russia, and continue to improve housing on the island.

May ’66

I said I’d build us a cathedral, and I will, but first I’m going to build a fabulous mall to bring luxuries to the island and improve the life of all of my constituents.

July ’67

I just received a report that 3 people died last year due to lack of proper healthcare facilities… It is a good thing then that back in February I set out plans to build a hospital.

May ’69

The hospital, mall and several new apartment buildings have been completed. Our college and high school are turning out brilliant minds so fast that half the time the halls are empty.

July ’69

Our Island now has a nuclear deterrent!  Not only that, but the amount of money we can rake in publicizing every new record we achieve is ludicrous! I’ve built two more newspapers, and we’ve got plans for another radio station and TV station in the works!

Meet The Cultist is a weekly feature focusing on some of the least regarded members of a Warhammer 40k Chaos Army, the cultists. In the game they are cannon fodder or a distraction at best, yet I find examining the sonder of their lives interesting. While chronology isn’t particularly important, you can start at the beginning if you care about reading them in order.

March Svorak has always been a bit of a Luddite, not that anyone really knows that term anymore. Still given the choice between complex and simple machines he’s always eschewed anything that might have a hint of a machine spirit. However collaborating with Talon he’s come up with a number of poisonous coatings for his arrows (many are actually just failed batches of Talon’s experiments). Amongst the cult Berzerk and SexGod are generally considered the most entertaining… Nothing sows confusion in the enemy like one of their own going crazy, though often there is disappointment if the target hit with Berzerk manages to kill the rest of his squadmates leaving no one else for the cult to fight.

In light of this Svorak and a couple of other cultists are often sent off as a diversion… they’ll incite some kind of riot, distracting the enemy from where the real attack is to come from, and in cases like that the relatively silent nature of the crossbow more than makes up for the slow reload time. He’s been on enough side missions with Brunus that they’ve become fast friends and March wears the mask Brunus made, even though it’s a little on the shoddy side thanks to Brunus’s crab claw not being the most dexterous at textile manipulation (aside from snipping!)

Dael’s Adventure Part 11

Start from the beginning

After a brief discussion we decided the mostly likely place that Solei would be was the Noble District, which conveniently was just a short ways away from the park area… We had no trouble at all crossing the wall and entering the dark, yet somehow jovial swamp surrounding the area. Once there we discovered a series of guarded areas which… well this is going to sound crazy, but we were able to discern the patrol patterns of the guards, and use that to sneak by them. After skirting through a half dozen different estates we finally found the Lord’s Manor where we suspected one of the Diviners was located. Hubert was sure it was Doldrums, which would have made sense considering the ease with which we slipped by the guards.

We found a side entrance that lead to the wine cellar. No one seemed to have a plan so while Hubert, Mortia and Vyrez discussed the situation, I liberated and sampled a few of the finer vintages. I’d just started on sampling a very fine white grown not too far north of the Monastery when it was decided to venture deeper into the mansion looking for Solei. We talked to a servant (very snooty) from whom we discerned that Solei was to be some sort of “Entertainment” … My supposition that it was to be some sort of gladiatorial fight turned out to be wrong, instead she was held in a cage suspended from the ceiling, and apparently she was to be auctioned off as a slave later in the evening.

Unable to come up with a plan for busting her out on the spot, Vyrez tried to mock start a duel with me, but he basically said “I challenge you to pretend to have a duel” which kind of gave the ruse away before it even had a chance to be swallowed. Hubert decided there was little point in waiting and lofted a vial of acid at the support holding the cage but it had little noticeable effect. Meanwhile the guards were trying to escort us out so I did my best to get their attention and then lead them on a merry chase through the crowds, drawing them away from the rest of the party. The orchestra managed to switch to an amazingly timely tune and as I drew them away Hubert put up a ladder, which Mortia climbed; however she was unable to pick the lock on the cage, so I followed up the ladder, drawing the guards after me which ended up being more than the ladder could easily support. Vyrez valiantly held the ladder up as the comedic climbing continued. Then the music stopped and Desire appeared and offered to release Solei if we’d stop interrupting the proceedings. We agreed and move from the Drawing Room to the Parlor where we had a very long and interesting discussion about Darkness’s plan; Desire’s willingness to allow for someone else to enact it; injustice and inequality in whom is considered a civilized race. His arguments where actually fairly persuasive and reasonable, and he seemed willing to work out a favorable deal in exchange for us letting him fake his demise and granting our desires we’d assist him in bringing equality to civilization on the continent. Of course the first step is to rescue our erstwhile companion Honch who apparently was also to be sold into slavery but we somehow missed him amongst the slave cages in the Drawing Room.

November ’61

The saltmine is complete. Soon we can start exporting this and hopefully raking in the money hand over fist. I’m not sure what that means, but someone said it and it sounds good.

April ’62

With the newspaper in full swing, the next step is Radio! Invisible Airwaves of the future. Or so they tell me. They’ve built it right next to the palace so I can hear it better… I don’t think that’s how it works, but we’ve only just appointed a minister of education so and I don’t want to burden her with silly questions so soon. With all of these improvements, surely it won’t be long before all of the protests stop.

April ’63

And our first “real” record, most rum drunk! Thanks to religion, we have achieved a dubious honor, but it is an honor indisputably. Building both churches right next to the distillery was genius.

April ’64

And now Tropico has Television. I’m not sure how much good it’ll do, but every little bit of publicity helps. Besides, the more cameras we have focused on every achievement, the harder it’ll be for the bitch from the UN to denounce our achievements as fraudulent.

August ’64

I’ll let Penultimo’s report speak for itself; Noelia Chavez, our minster of economy, is a genius.

December ’64

The college is done. Once we hire a few professors we can stop having to hire educated folks from off the island. A new age of knowledge dawns.

Meet The Cultist is a weekly feature focusing on some of the least regarded members of a Warhammer 40k Chaos Army, the cultists. In the game they are cannon fodder or a distraction at best, yet I find examining the sonder of their lives interesting. While chronology isn’t particularly important, you can start at the beginning if you care about reading them in order.

Once upon a time Sekrax had the voice of an angel. He had a promising career as an entertainer on Poulionus, a hive world which was far enough from the regular trade lanes that it seemed the Imperium turned a blind eye to the active trade agreements with the expanding T’au empire. And if the effect of his voice hadn’t been so pronounced he might have done a tour on various T’au occupied worlds singing to Gue’vesa, betraying the Imperium in a small and fairly insignificant way; but that’s not how is story went.

Instead his performances brought money, fame, and fans: drugs and other excesses soon followed. Everybody knows Slaanesh cultists throw the best parties, and once he’d tasted the mind bending extravagances  provided by the petitioners of She Who Thirsts there was no turning back for Sekrax. Before he sang for money, and fame. Now he had a purpose; his voice a living prayer to Slaanesh that enthralled and intoxicated any who heard it.  His presence on the battlefield was usually restricted to the back lines, where his voice was piped through amplifiers and thence to a Noise Marine who used the melodious tones to fire off devastatingly distorted sussurances that were felt rather than heard and left the affected foes writhing in pleasure even as their overloaded nervous systems shutdown from the magnificent over stimulation of it.

Then, while raiding for liquor on a Nurgle infested agri-world, Sekrax’s luck ran out. Some pestilential wind passed over the his squad and whatever noxious vapour it was ruined his voice. Everyone knows that it was Zygor’s fault, but only Sekrax knows the truth; his gas mask was fine, he was just t0o slow getting it on. Initially he was too embarrassed to clear Zygor’s name, not expecting the alacrity or severity with which punishment would be meted out. Now it’s been several months, and Zygor seems to have accepted his fate so Sekrax channels his guilt into battle. His chain sword will just have to sing for him.

Many lament that Tudax joined after Sekrax had lost his voice, but the truth is recordings never could touch a live performance; it was as if the was some magic in his voice that couldn’t be captured by a box of metal and plastic.

Dael’s Adventure Part 10

Start from the beginning

We barely had a chance to exchange greetings with Mortia and Hubert before Dredd and his 2 cohorts joined battle. Well, that’s not exactly true. We were in a large room, 6 sided, but not hexagonal, rather more like a square with two corners cut out. In a big arc around the back (and sides) where the “cut outs” were was a large raised wooden and metal platform without railing or adornment. A tight spiral staircase surmounted each end of this platform so there was a sort of central area surrounded by this raised stage. If you’ve ever been in a church you might be forgiven for thinking there were stained glass windows, except these were all done in blacks and reds, and even the reds might be better described as black. I didn’t really get a chance to examine them until after the fight, which is probably for the best. I won’t describe the actual content of the pictures, suffice to say the scenes they depicted were terrifying and had I known their contents before hand I’d been much more hesitant to engage Dredd and his malefic minions.

As I said Dredd finished his monologue about how scary he was, which lacked a certain weight seeing as he’d claimed Teawrecks was more terrifying and we’d already bested the metal beast. However when Solei accepted his baleful deal to trade her presences for our previous companions, with a logic that only seems to work in dreams, she disappeared and they returned, and Mortia was evidently quite upset for before anyone could react she was calling down magic upon them. Honch moved up to attacked the heavily armored one on the left while Hubert stepped forward and tossed acid at Dredd. Vyrez judged the distance to far to reach any of them so drew a pistol and began firing upon Dredd. It took me but a second to get my bearings, and I vaulted up the stairs on the right, focusing my Ki and rolling forward to deliver 17 Fist That Silence the Tiger just as the Hexer began her incantation. After only 4 blows she reeled back and collapsed. Dredd then cast some foul magic which made everyone so afraid of failure that failing to connect was physically painful. Hubert later told me that this was called Kakorraphiophobia, but I suspect he’s making it up; that can’t be a real word. This ended up working against them as we were as able to dodge as they. Honch meanwhile had stuck to his oeuvre and knocked the other minion off the platform and then come down on top of him like a ton of bricks (or an angry half-ork, which might be worse.) For a brief period I was pretty sure that Dredd was not a person at all, but rather a suit of armor piloted by spiders. Fortunately I was unable to communicate this to the rest of the part because Mortia had put a zone of silence on us, and as it turns out this was some sort of dreadful illusion put in my head by Dredd. However with the full focus of the party on him Dredd was not able to stand up to our combined might.

Unfortunately Solei was not returned to us upon Dredd’s demise, so after a brief rest we continued on, heading to the last major landmark in the area, the Silo. We found it without too much trouble, and climbed it where we were set upon by some more ghosts and Shadow folk. We managed to dispatch them, but during the fight Honch got into a tug of war with one of the ghosts over one of Hubert’s potions and together they vanished 80 feet or more below to whatever was at the bottom of the Silo.