Not Safe For Work Christmas Special. If plastic naughty bits offend, stop reading now! (more…)
Archive for December, 2017
Meet the Cult 25: NSFW Christmas Special
Friday, December 22nd, 2017Meet the Cult 24: Kaduk Juduq
Friday, December 15th, 2017
Meet The Cultist is a weekly feature focusing on some of the least regarded members of a Warhammer 40k Chaos Army, the cultists. In the game they are cannon fodder or a distraction at best, yet I find examining the sonder of their lives interesting. While chronology isn’t particularly important, you can start at the beginning if you care about reading them in order.
Kaduk likes obscure and foreign music. If he can’t understand the words he isn’t bothered at all. Because of the fractured nature of the galaxy Kaduk has ended up collecting media players in addition to any tapes, disk, crystals, ‘cubes or even more obscure recording media. All his time spent repairing the devices so he can listen to his weird ass music has taught him a thing or to about electronics and he’s often brought broken archeotech by the rest of the cult to repair.
His other obsession is birds, or really, any flighted beast. His current gag is due to a recent incident where the morning after a particularly brutal revelry, while most everyone was nursing a hangover of one sort or another, Kudak spotted a rare owl-like creature, and began hooting up a storm trying to entice it close enough to capture.
Let’s Play Tropico 4: XXII
Monday, December 11th, 2017A new trip, a new island. Surely this time I’ll create the perfect utopia. I think I’ll start with a little bit of tourism to get things going, and then we can really start to make some money!
The tourist dock, and our first hotel are finished. Let’s hope we can attract some wealthy tourists, as the treasury is already practically empty.
September ’55
Our decision to pursue tourism has apparently angered the communists. I suppose things are going to get interesting.
May ’56
Our first batch of tourists have arrived. Only tourists would go to the effort of going to a foreign island only to spend time at the local pool. Hopefully Penultimo can convince the Communists that the tourism thing is all a front of some kind.
Meet the Cult 23: Lugax Ophuxii
Friday, December 8th, 2017
Meet The Cultist is a weekly feature focusing on some of the least regarded members of a Warhammer 40k Chaos Army, the cultists. In the game they are cannon fodder or a distraction at best, yet I find examining the sonder of their lives interesting. While chronology isn’t particularly important, you can start at the beginning if you care about reading them in order.
Lugax’s passion is being not just average, but super average. If you pick any one thing someone else in the cult will be better at it then him. However if you pick any skill, any obsession, even with his average abilities across the board he’s probably better than a randomly picked other cultist. He can sing, but isn’t fantastic at it. He’s a pretty good shot with a pistol or rifle, and is handy with his mace. In post raid debauchery he’s never the first (or last) to pass out. He has the faintest psychic ability, but can’t do anything spectacular with it. He takes Seanan’s silver regimen, dies his hair, but not his beard. Plays CrimeHive with Zygor though he’s not very good.
His one “claim to fame” would be that he is one of the most agile cultists in zero gravity, however fortunately for his desire of mediocrity the cult is so rarely called upon to perform in low/no gravity that his skills in that regard remain unknown.
Let’s Play Tropico 4: XXI
Sunday, December 3rd, 2017With the hiring of our Third General we’ve achieved another meaningless milestone, and the UN has begrudgingly awarded us an award.
May ’73
With all of our well earned revenue we’ve constructed several more apartment blocks throughout downtown. Many people are still choosing to live in Shantys and Shacks just because they are free. I’ve ordered them all demolished. Once people have no choice but to live in a nice apartment with air conditioning I”m sure they’ll be much happier. They just don’t know it yet.
June ’74
With all of the ugly Shacks torn down, nearly a dozen houses have had their foundations laid, and soon the area around my palace will be so much more posh. Additionally we’ve finally settled on the spot for my Mausoleum, just behind the Zoo and Schools. It will make it easier for the schools to have field trips to the future (far future) resting place of their dear leader.
December ’74
The upscaled housing for downtown is finished, and the area looks so much nicer. The area has come quite a long way since I first moved in and took over running this beautiful island.
January ’76
We’ve reached market saturation as far as media outlets go! Time to finish off all these awards and get the record for most records! Well, let’s get that Mausoleum finished first, just in case.
May ’76
A Petite Rebellion. We were able to easily put down the rebellion and assure my victory. This island shall stand as a testament to my skill, courage and leadership. Now, into my time machine for the next challenge!
Meet the Cult 22: Rhygore Aergash
Friday, December 1st, 2017
Meet The Cultist is a weekly feature focusing on some of the least regarded members of a Warhammer 40k Chaos Army, the cultists. In the game they are cannon fodder or a distraction at best, yet I find examining the sonder of their lives interesting. While chronology isn’t particularly important, you can start at the beginning if you care about reading them in order.
Rhygore was long considered a little weird by the other cultists, which is saying a lot. His fascination with silence, and lack of sensation caused his faith in Slaanesh and the tenets of the cult to be called into question. Unable to satisfactorily explain how complete silence was as much an extreme pleasure as cacophonous noise they ultimate test of faith was administered, his left arm was sawed off, and a new bionic implant was affixed by Taloneus and blessed by Mobeius. Rhygore’s devotion was apparently true for not only did the metallic tentacle take, it was covered with beautiful flexible flesh, even gaining a rasp on the end that secreted a toxin not unlike that which coats the tongues of Seekers.
In controlled quantities the toxin has a similar effect to the Soporific musk the Seekers emit as well as some pleasant hallucinogenic properties. Rhygore demands a fairly high price from his fellow cultists in exchange for allowing his tentacle to be “milked” … though he does hold a bit of a grudge and the surviving cultists who were most directly responsible for putting him under Taloneus’s ministration are absolutely forbidden from partaking in the resulting decoction. Whilst Taloneus did administer the replacement arm, he was not one of those who called his devotion into question and so is not beholden by the ban.