The unbearable sadness of being happy.

I’m going to be all super serious for a bit. If that’s not why you come here, please feel free to skip today’s post.

On the one hand I’ve got a pretty awesome life. I like the things I do. I do the things I like. On the other hand I’ve got a pretty depressing life. I’m so alone. Maybe even forever alone. 

How do you define a ‘good life’? Do I have one? I really don’t know. I am pretty much depressed all of the time, but I compensate by enjoying the fuck out of life pretty much all the time. A typical day for me is doing work I enjoy, and then going and goofing off in a variety of ways.

What brought on this maudlin contemplation you may way ask, and rightly so; and the answer is some drunk fucktard’s off-hand comment in a bar. Yay. So here is the breakdown. Said fucktard brought up Yankee Swap aka Dirty Santa aka a million other names. This a is a dumb Xmas game akin to secret santa, except with the option to steal gifts. If you don’t know what it is go look on wikipedia you lazy fuck. Anyways, I’d recently acquired from a charity auction a fantasy game called Gauntlet of Fools that has much in common with Dirty Santa… Each player gets to pick one hero to face a gauntlet of monsters (everyone faces the same monsters) but much like Yankee Swap you can steal heroes by making bigger boasts (My barbarian can face the gauntlet hungover. Well MY barbarian can do it hungover and with one hand tied behind his back). 

Anyways drunk ass fucktard made baseless aspersions upon my, and my friend’s ability to have girlfriends because we were even talking about board games. Never mind that my friend’s GF was just outside smoking, and he was drunk and stupid, it still hit home and reminded me how sad and alone I am. 

That’s not to say that on the whole I don’t enjoy the majority of the moments of my life. However I often feel like there could be, should be more. Do i really need an SO for my life to be fulfilling? I don’t know. It certainly wouldn’t make things worse, but I get by.

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